I (Tracy) recently had a bout with rebelling hair. You see, I have very dry, curly hair and I was searching high and low for the best way to deal with it. One camp said that technique X worked for them. So I tried it – disaster. Then I tried technique Y, which worked for another camp — complete disaster. What finally worked? Doing everything people said not to do. I brush, I comb, I wash with shampoo — not conditioner, and I keep it away from water. Those of you with curly hair may know the techniques I’m referring to and may be shaking your own curly heads. “No you don’t,” you may be exclaiming. But believe me, this works for me.
The lesson here is that you can listen to others and process their advice, but what works for some may not work for others. This is also true when it comes to coping with divorce, what works for person A may not work for person B. It may take a while to figure out what works, but in the end you will find an appropriate coping method.
Case, or cases, in point. Here are some true stories which appeared in the Detroit Free Press about how people coped with divorce. You may be able to relate or want to give some of them a try.
People share how they cope with divorce
Getting divorced? Here are some true stories of divorce from the book “You Can Keep the Damn China! And 824 Other Great Tips on Dealing with Divorce” (Hundreds of Heads Books, $13.95), from people who’ve lived it:
Get a therapist: That’s the first thing I did after getting divorced. I learned to let go of my anger and forgive. — Maria Isbell, Austin, Texas; married and divorced for six years
I had decided that after my divorce, I was going to move to a new place, a city about 400 miles from where my husband and I had lived. I didn’t have a job or know anyone there, which was just fine by me. I wanted a clean, fresh start. Right after I signed my divorce papers, I got in my car, which was loaded with my belongings, and started the drive north. I rolled all the windows down, turned up the stereo full blast, and started singing. — Andrea, Philadelphia, Pa.; married six years and divorced for 20 years
It’s so funny now, but I would just sob every time I heard Kenny Rogers’ “Islands in the Stream.” — Angie, Ozark, Mo.; married one year, divorced five years (Our Comment: The idea is that if you feel like crying, do so. Until you let go of the sadness you feel, you won’t be able to feel any “positive” emotions because you can’t feel two emotions at one time.”
Any movie with Katharine Hepburn in it: “Morning Glory” or “Stage Door,” both from the 1930s, are terrific. She was such a strong role model for women. … Also, movies with Meg Ryan, like “When Harry Met Sally” or “You’ve Got Mail,” are cute, romantic movies that don’t hurt after a divorce. They make you feel that love is possible again.
— Dana, Anniston, Ala.; married six years, divorced and remarried one year