Why don’t people stop smoking even though they know it would benefit their health? In some cases it’s due to the fear of what will happen when they do. We know one woman who connected going to the bathroom in the morning with having her cup of coffee and her cigarette, Without that combination, she was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom in the morning. True story.
That’s what got us thinking. Why do people hang on to their respective ex-whatevers even though they know they should let go, move on, or whatever expression you what to use?
And then we ran across an article on Oprah.com — What Scares Women About Getting Older? — and wondered if some of the things on this list could cause people to hang on to their ex (whether it is by being needy or obsessed with getting revenge) instead of moving on with their own lives.
Could the fear of:
- Not being cared for when you get old;
- Becoming invisible and never having sex again;
- Ending up alone;
- Being too broke to survive on your own;
- Not being able to work when you get older and being thrown away by society; or
- Ending up a bag lady (or the man who sleeps under the bridge);
play a role in keeping you from moving on? Maybe you think that these things won’t happen if you make sure that your ex is always in your life. If so, get a grip and wake up. By not moving on you’re going to end up fulfilling your own prophecy of doom and gloom.
Think about it. How are you going to get out there and live what Oprah calls your best life ever if you’re busy scheming against your ex or obsessed with every move they make towards happiness? They are going to be the ones going to parties, meeting people, and living while you remain stuck in the shadows. And it will be no one’s fault but your own.
Life goes on, and you aren’t getting any younger.
The woman we told you about at the beginning of this post finally stopped smoking. And you know what? She still went to the bathroom in the morning. On top of that, she became a much healthier person.
Give up your dependency on your ex and start living your own life. If you don’t, your worse fears may come true.